Yesterday I went on a bit of a rant on Twitter in light of the whole Aziz Ansari mess. This will definitely count as my post for yesterday, as it IS something I wrote, just… in the wrong place. 😉
Men saying the Aziz situation is a “natural” part of the sexual experience IS THE EXACT PROBLEM. Yes, it happens A LOT, it IS a part of our culture, but that doesn’t mean it’s RIGHT. Men pushing/thinking they can negotiate sex from women if they try hard enough is RAPE CULTURE. And it’s partly the fault of the lack of proper sex education in this country. Most men are taught that if they try and fail to get a woman to have sex with them, it’s the worst thing they could possibly do. And no one is taught to read body language. Doesn’t mean it’s okay. Men don’t KNOW that pushing a woman for more than she is comfortable with is fucked up. They just know that if they ask enough times it usually ends up in their favor. What they don’t get is that women don’t change their mind in that situation, they just give up. They give up for a multitude of reasons, but safety is high up there. They make compromises with whoever is pressuring them. “How little can I get away with doing to get him to stop?” This happens SO FREQUENTLY. It’s more relatable than the
#metoo movement & should be part of it And men think it’s outrageous to think of this as sexual misconduct because it is such a “natural” occurrence during sexual activity. But there is nothing natural about pressuring a person repeatedly to engage in sexual acts with you. And the solution isn’t “guess we can never have sex with women!” It’s “talk to your fucking partner, openly, EVERY TIME and respect their fucking comfort levels. If they say they’re uncomfortable or LOOK uncomfortable, STOP and don’t pressure for MORE!”
Follow me on Twitter for more feminist rants, undoubtedly.